Spammity Spam

Warning: may contain raunch.

Part One

So OK, I haven’t been back on the blog train for a few years so this is probably old hat for everyone else, but in the month or two that I’ve been doing this I’ve got 927 pieces of spam and 3 actual comments from real people.

I thought this bit of ornate prose that somehow got through the Akismet filter was amusing:

I wish to express some thanks to you for rescuing me from this particular problem. After browsing through the internet and seeing ways which are not beneficial, I was thinking my entire life was over.

Being alive devoid of the solutions to the difficulties you have solved by means of your good guide is a serious case, as well as ones which might have in a wrong way damaged my career if I hadn’t come across the website. Your training and kindness in handling all the pieces was valuable. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I had not come across such a subject like this.

I can also at this time look ahead to my future. Thank you so much for your reliable and effective guide. I will not hesitate to suggest your blog post to any individual who will need recommendations about this subject.

Some random bit of spam

followed by a couple of links to sites on the net.

So that was lovely.

Part Two

Speaking of spam, I was once flagged as the porn king of a commercialised government department. They had recently installed some kind of automatic spam filter, and I had emailed[*] around an amusing image which I doubt I’ll ever be able to find again, but oh my google, here it is:

Funny at the time
Funny at the time

So anyway the pinkish background was flagged by this robot as being “flesh-toned” and therefore sent straight to the filth folder, triggering an email alert, which as it happened included the image as an attachment. What with this being the government, this was also flagged by the robot as being spam, was sent straight to the filth folder, triggering another email, and so on. So somehow this thing managed to ratchet up my porn count by a couple of orders of magnitude before anyone thought about shutting it down, which made for an interesting chat with my supervisor at the time.

Mrs Slocombe has a large pussy.
Mrs Slocombe has a large pussy.

[*]: You’ll have to excuse the dated humour, but this is before the days when people would just put photos of cats up on facebook, thereby getting around the still hilarious inability to use the word ‘pussy’ in an email.

Props to for the quotebox CSS.

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